Monday, February 16, 2009

File #90026120

Relationships
Excerpts from an essay written for Public Speaking

Everyday, you interact with countless amounts of people. These interactions may be direct or indirect, causing major or minor changes in the lives of others. Whether you know it or not, your actions are affecting the actions of others. Direct actions involve talking or coming in physical contact with someone, direct actions can be stopped with some effort, but indirect actions are much more difficult.
Indirect actions could be anything, getting a soda from a vending machine or parking awkwardly in the parking lot. Everything you do can have an effect on others around you. For example, let's say you get a coke from a soda vending machine. Later in the day, another student might not get one because you got one earlier. Of course, this would not be possible unless other individuals also bought the same soda using the same button as you did. That was a negative example, a more positive one is buying something at a store. That's right, just buying something at the store. You just gave someone money, and that's awesome. However, it remains indirect since your money may not go to the person you handed it to.
With that said, how many of our everyday actions affect someone else? Probably everything you do outside can cause an effect on someone. Obviously, most of your actions are not going to cause major changes in other people's lives, most changes are hardly noticeable and will never come back to you. Most reactions only come from people close to you or people you came into contact physically.
Depending on the type of person you are, this information may or may not affect you. People who don't really care about others(like myself) can make decisions that affect others without much thought. However, people who have concern for those around them may have a slightly more difficult time with such decisions. Different people also react differently to different situations. In the end, everyone's connected like a web, one touch could could just cause a bounce or cause the whole web to come apart.
Now, when I first introduced myself and said I was going to talk about relationships, this isn't what you had in mind is it? Well, don't worry, I'll talk about that right now. When I say relationships, most people think of boyfriend/girlfriend relationships.Now why is this? By standard definition, a relationship is defined as a connection, association, or involvement. Nothing about love there, right? But love is the most popular relationship there is, except for maybe hate.
Did you know that people are becoming more and more antisocial with every year? You can buy almost everything online, even groceries! With more people becoming shut ins, person-to-person relationships are becoming a little more rare. Many people even prefer to use the self-checkout lane at the local Walmart to skip the cashier. So in today's society, it is much harder to get a girlfriend/boyfriend, much less a friend in particular. Most people only have their small circle of friends they hang out with and talk to almost everyday. Outside of family, a person may only talk to several other individuals besides their own friends.
However, its not the same everywhere. Although it may be the case in most major cities, many small towns still retain that personal feeling. In small towns, everyone likes to know each other, one does not only now his neighbor, but his entire neighborhood.
Now why is this important? Consider this, during a disaster situation, is it not better to already know your neighbors and have that trust established instead of meeting them for the first time in an emergency situation? Trust is important in any and all relationships, even in hate. Think about it, two people who hate each other trusts the other to think they did something wrong. And with love, trust is obviously required.
Where am I going with this? Go outside, talk to some people, don't become a shut-in like some people in Japan. Social interactions are essential to living healthy. People may say talking to yourself is good for your mental health but let's face it, at least talking to someone else doesn't make you look like a retard. Talk to people outside of your circle, it may bring about new friendships, new opportunities, and maybe even that special someone. And for me, today, my greatest hope is that I've given you something to walk away with after listening to me for the past fifteen minutes.

Kai's Rant Theater 3000!
I've never really been to fond on relationships, so needless to say I didn't really like this paper when I first started it. To someone like me, relationships were like chains, holding me back from doing things, becomes weights that dragged me down. People I cared for or admired were taken from me, and people I didn't like got stuck with me. Getting a special someone is out of the question, and probably still is(laughs). That was how I viewed things growing up, cynical and realistic. I'm a little more positive now, relationships between people are actually worth keeping. Relationships between business partners, friends, and some other acquaintances I come in contact with every so often.
Writing this draft for my speech and talking to others about what they think on this subject taught me a lot. What relationships actually mean to people and how they affect people. Some people can't stand without relationships, others do just fine with only a few. Some are forced into having many, while others wish they had more.
As for me, I like to believe I can stand tall on own, but that's not entirely true. There's people I depend on everyday. My business partner and best friend, J(let's just call him that), is someone I probably couldn't do without. He helped me get to where I am today and continues to support me. Besides being a support unit, he is also my greatest rival. He inspires me to be greater(than him haha) and makes me strive for better than what I have.
And although I might be able to live on with only a few relationships, I don't want to ignore people. I accept people as friends, and accept others as fellow businessmen. I like to help people, being a helping hand when I can. I know by helping them I'm contradicting myself, but I feel that my views on life are not completely right and maybe by going against I will see a little of the other side.
The one relationship that is completely lost to me is family. The situation in my family has deteriorated so far that we hardly talk to each other. The other family member I talk to my brother, the others I never hear from and really don't want to. I say I blame it on my blood, that we are not blood-related, but there was more problems than that. In good will, I always wanted to repair the relationship. Many families are just fine, close even. Sometimes, I'm jealous of those families. But everytime I try, my efforts blow up in my face. So I give up. 'Til this day, this is probably my only failure and regret(or at least the largest one).
Because of that, I'm even afraid to get close to others. I've studied my fair share of psychology, I know that chances are high that I might turn into the people who raised me someday. That thought scares me everytime I think about it. For that reason, I will never drink, I will never get angry, and I will never fight anyone. I fear if I even give in a little, it will lead to me going down the road I certainly don't want to travel.
That said, it will probably be a long time before I find that special someone. There's many people who trust me and said it, but it will be some time before I get close to anyone. Before I can trust anyone, I need to learn to trust myself first. Until then, I guess I'll just continue being the helper/advisor. Hey it works for me.

Kai out!

2 comments:

  1. ...relationships are overrated.... *hugs computer*

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  2. LOL! That was funny, Avie!

    But anyway. This is veeery interesting, Kai. And reflective. You seem to know yourself very well, but there's still a long way to go, right?
    And being able to write about your weaknesses and strengths like this (or in this context)...That's saying something.
    This was an enjoyable and enlightening read (especially your rant).

    Good luck with your relationships! ^^

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